April 2012
4 posts
9 tags
Opportunity Dating: A love story(ies)
I’ve dated a lot of guys. Not, like a lot a lot, but a lot. It’s just that I get reallyyyy bored, reallyyyyy fast. With them, and with whatever Dave Matthews song they’re into. So then I break up with them and start dating someone else who is obsessed with another Dave Matthews song. And then I get tired of that one and occasionally find myself with someone who is obsessed with...
Hunger Games themed Liquid Courage flask winners
Sup, sluts. Thanks to all you thirsty betches for entering, but we’d like to extend a special congrats out to—Jennifer O’Donnell, Jaimee Pohl, Paulina Gines, Johnny Hohenstein and Celia Burns. The vodka WAS ever in your flavor favor. Please email us (contact@vodkavendettas.com) your mailing address within 24 hours because we would just hate hate haaaaate to have to share these flasks...
4 tags
Special #VV Giveaway — Hunger Games themed Liquid...
If there’s one thing Katniss and Peeta needed from their sponsors in the Hunger Games, it wasn’t boring bread. It was a flask filled to the brim with vodka/wine/rum/Everclear (not judging). Now you can have your own Hunger Games+Vodka Vendettas flask. Five lucky winners will receive one flask made by Liquid Courage! And if you’re not a winner, never fear…these flasks are...
6 tags
Sorry I Actually AM Sorry: How to Apologize Like a...
If you have the pleasure of knowing me personally, you can bank on the fact that I’m always always always usually right. Unless, of course, we’re dating, in which case, everything turns into a game of “we don’t understand each others’ perspective, so why don’t we just fight to the death like we’re in the fucking Hunger Games.”
As a betch, I take pride in the...
March 2012
5 posts
3 tags
You'll never love me as much as I love myself:...
One of the best things about being a betch is that a mild case of narcissism and self-proclaimed heartlessness is not only accepted, but encouraged. …That sentence is the closest I get to having that warm, fuzzy feeling except when I, you know, buy a new pair of heels (or wedges. or a purse. or a belt. or earrings. or…)
I’m my favorite subject and caring is creepy. I mean,...
3 tags
#VV Friday Giveaway — YQY Jewelry
Hey, crazies. I can’t believe it’s Friday already! Is it Spring Break for you? Are you drunk and funneling something questionable on the beach? Did you get vom in your hair last night? Did random bros ask you to “check out their condo?” SPRINGBREAK12!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK, anyway, today we have a giveaway by YQY Jewelry, a jewelry boutique out of Doylestown,...
3 tags
Ophelia Bird necklace giveaway winners
Congratulations to Audrey Knox, Lindsey Sanders and Kathryn Greer! You three won our Ophelia Bird necklace giveaway! Please email us (contact@vodkavendettas.com) your mailing address within 24 hours so that we don’t give your necklace away to some other classy betch.
5 tags
#VV Friday Giveaway — Ophelia Bird Necklace
We’re baaaaackkkkk! Did you miss us last Friday? Of course you did, we give you free shit you greedy bitches!
This week we’re partnering with Ophelia Bird, a jewelry company ran by Nebraska-based mom Jessica Jahnke. Her pieces are so adorbs! For most of them, she uses vintage pieces and up-cycles them to something totally chic. Which we love, of course, because nothing says “I...
4 tags
He Just IS That Into You
Hey, psychos.
As per the usj ush ujgh usual (what the shit is the abbrev for that!?), we have been receiving a plethora of questions via our Formspring asking us to please please PLEASE reveal the secrets behind the male mind and unveil what his completely fucking confusing not-so-clear signals really mean.
Allow me to preface this by saying that the number ONE way to know a guy you are...
February 2012
10 posts
1 tag
Ruffles With Love Giveaway Winners
Congratulations to Lindsay Sikes, Mary Ellen Cameron and Rayne Leonard for winning the Ruffles With Love giveaway! I’m about to email you ladies, please respond within 24 hours with your mailing address to receive the shirts!
6 tags
#VV Friday Giveaway — Ruffles With Love Workout...
It’s a common issue among those of us who are not into the whole T-shirt, Norts, tennis shoes everysingleday thing, that when we go to the gym we (ohmigosh) blend in. Sure, I use it as the only public place I can wear my ex’s fraternity shirts, and the only place I can check myself out in the mirror for extended periods of time without seeming conceited. But the gym needs to also be...
1 tag
Liquid Courage giveaway winners
Yayyyy, Bridget Foley, Katie Hill, Eliza Hunt, Mabel Jane Hoevker and Jessica Daniels for winning the Liquid Courage flask giveaway! Please email us your mailing address to contact@vodkavendettas.com within the next 24 hours. Happy drinking!
2 tags
#VV Friday Giveaway — Liquid Courage Flasks
You probably didn’t wake up this morning thinking that you were tired of plain, liquor store or gas station purchased flasks. But you are. You totally are. Which is why you need a flask from Liquid Courage, an online retailer that sells handmade flasks that are to die drink for. They even have personalized flasks! Nothing says, “don’t steal my alchy, bitch,” like your...
2 tags
"Bread is the Devil" giveaway winners
Congrats to Heather Hopkins, Colleen Beach, Brianna Desrochers, Claire Monahan and Brittni Sapper, who all won signed copies of Heather Bauer’s book, Bread is the Devil! Email us your mailing address within the next 24 hours to contact@vodkavendettas.com so that we can get the book to you.
Keep looking for upcoming giveaways!
6 tags
#VV Giveaway — "Bread is the Devil" by Heather...
We all have our own food devils. Maybe it’s Ben and Jerry’s “Imagine Whirled Peace.” Maybe it’s movie theater popcorn. Or maybe it’s those S’mores PopTarts your boyfriend keeps in his apartment that he never eats that call your name every morning when he leaves for class that you just. can’t. resist. I’m not saying that’s...
7 tags
The Ex Effect- When To Say "When"
We had a question asked via our Formspring that inspired this post:
“Is it ever worth it/even possible to be friends with an ex? We’ve been broken up for a few months and he said he wants to be friends (he broke up with me). my feelings for him aren’t completely gone…but i dont want him out of my life completely…help”
To view my direct response, go here:...
4 tags
Exclusiv Vodka and Moscato Giveaway Winners
Congrats to the five winners of our Exlusiv vodka and moscato giveaway! Adrienne Gorman, Karen Rodenheiser, Joanna Perry, Effie Miller and Sarah Head have all been selected as winners using a random line picker. The five of you have all been emailed regarding your mailing address and must reply within 48 hours!
Disappointed that your name isn’t on the list? Don’t be…we are...
3 tags
#VV Giveaway — Exclusiv Vodka and Moscato
We are super excited about our first giveaway! Seriously. We’d be smiling right now but our mud masks are about dry. We want to make this a weekly thing, so if you have a product you would like to provide for an upcoming giveaway, know someone who does or just have an idea of a brand you’d like to see, email us at vodkavendettas@gmail.com!
It’s no secret that we love vodka. Duh. But if there’s one...
6 tags
VV meets with The FFJD to discuss the Super Bowl... →
January 2012
7 posts
3 tags
In defense of the Kardashians
The Kardashians get a lot of shit. No, I don’t mean the good kind, like Kourtney’s black python Celine Luggage tote (want), but the super jeal haters who troll the interwebz bitching about how they are sucking the life out of television, ruining youthful minds, yada, yada, yada.
So no, we’re not sure how they got famous. It’s some combination of the Kim-Ray J sex tape,...
4 tags
Dear Guys Who Lie About Sleeping With Girls
Dear Guys Who Lie About Sleeping With Girls,
There’s a reason we didn’t sleep with you. Maybe it’s because you weren’t smooth enough. Maybe it’s because we did the standard FT (Feel Test, duh) and you were only subpar. Maybe it’s because we didn’t want to mess up our hair. Or maybe it’s because we’re just. not. sluts. But the fact that you...
4 tags
Co-Ed Column: Clemson University
Contributed by guest blogger Ashley Adams (@AshleyWAdams)
Southern belle: (derived from the French word belle, ‘beautiful’) is an archetype for a young woman who epitomizes Southern hospitality, cultivation of beauty and a flirtatious yet chaste demeanor.
Some girls need to focus more on flirtatious, among other things. At Clemson University, as I’m sure is the case with other Southern...
7 tags
So Betch List: Jan. 5
After flipping through the standard fash mags’ “Dos and Don’ts,” and perusing the InterwebZ for what’s “in” and “out” and whatthefuckever. I’ve taken it upon myself to devise a list of my own of what I believe to exhibit absolute betchiness of the moment and the flipside— absolute smh-risible-ridiculousness. This isn’t going to...
6 tags
RE: Ask Us Anything: Bros are Like Songs...
This question was asked via our Formspring.
Dear Vodka Vendettas,
In response to the radio metaphor of relational behaviors: as a guy, how does one get from the song that’s good but not good enough to leave on to the song that’s stuck on repeat?
Love,
Desperately Seeking Repeat
Dear Desperately Seeking Repeat,
Friendzone, eh? I hate to say this, but it’s really her...
December 2011
10 posts
9 tags
Ask Us Anything: Bros are Like Songs...
This question was asked via our Formspring.
Dear Vodka Vendettas,
How many times have you used a guy just for the food? And, where do you draw the line between a nice convo - free food and potential for more (tap buddies, MO sesh, relaysh material)?
Love,
What Are Boundaries?
Dear What Are Boundaries?,
Wait. Zack, is that you?? I’m, like, superrrr sorry I didn’t return all...
4 tags
Guest blog post — Cosmo Conundrum
Contributed by guest blogger @Suzlass.
Every VV girl knows how to be awesome, hold our liquor (until we need to throw it up to make room for more vodka), and how to land a guy. But, sometimes us betches get in a bit of a dry spell, and need to look to a higher grace to help us get back to making guys want us and girls want to be us. That higher grace is none other than the Bible, Cosmopolitan...
2 tags
Stay Betchy: It's High Time for High Maintenance →
#mc has been featured at @CollegeTownLife’s website! “Sure, a Big Mac is less expensive than filet mignon, but who wants McDonald’s when they can have Ruth’s Chris?”
3 tags
Top 10 New Year's Resolutions, VV Style
While Google-ing New Year’s Resolutions (because I can’t resolve anything without a search engine), I came upon this. If you were too lazy to click on that (not judging), it’s About.com’s “Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions.” As to be expected, the ushe (will I ever figure out how to abbreviate usual!?) determination to get fit and quit the reg vices are on...
5 tags
The No BS Reasons You Should Get to the Gym →
VV has been featured at @CollegeTownLife’s website! Click the link above to read my article on the real reasons you should get to the gym, because no one is buying fat girls drinks in this economy.
Love,
#kj
2 tags
VV girl at a glance →
Ever wonder if we’re the only betches who think sarcasm, stilettos and body glitter get a girl any man she wants? Think again! Read one VV girl’s take on a British newspaper’s article that claims funny girls finish last. (Bollocks!)
Got a blog or article you think all VV girls should read? Email us at vodkavendettas@gmail.com, and you may see a link to your blog here!
3 tags
Guest blog post — How to fall in love with...
Contributed by guest blogger Emily Thibault (@emthibault1)
Alright, so I read this blog all the time and obsessively look for updates on VV’s Formspring (seriously, wtf with the limited characters in the question submission box?) and noticed that there seemed to be an overwhelming amount of you fab ladies who have no self respect! Seriously, how could you let guys treat you like they do if you...
4 tags
Calorie Countdown to Christmas Cocktail
I’m going as my boyfriend’s date to his fraternity’s Christmas Cocktail tomorrow. Obvs, because who else would be my boyfriend’s date? Well if I could pay a skinnier, more self-controled around anything with an insanely high sugar or sodium count, version of me to go, I would. Among the usual questions that pop into one’s head when asked to such an event (What dress...
5 tags
You ladies are fucking. brilliant. My roommates and I love everything you post because it’s all way too relevant in such a great way. Keep it up!
message by: peacetea
Thanks, dear! <3
6 tags
Relationship Recidivism — How to finally get away...
We all have them. No, I’m not talking about Norts or North Faces. I’m talking about that token ex. You know what I’m talking about. The one you have cycled through more than your washing machine has with your jeggings. He could call you up at any moment and ask for you back/ask for your vajayjay/ask for your car (OK, crazy) and you’d gladly oblige. Well that’s just...
November 2011
14 posts
thebestever asked: Your blog is brilliant! My roommates and I are in love with everything you're writing on here :) couldn't agree more!
8 tags
Playlist: Not. Sleeping. With. Bros.
Clearly, not having sexual relations with potential bros is a foreign concept to all you betches, so I’ve taken the liberty to compile a mini-playlist to help you get a grasp on VV’s cardinal rule: Not Sleeping With Bros You Want to Date. If they want the goodies, tell them they can’t have them because they’re in a jar—only to be accessed by boyfriends!
You’re...
3 tags
Ask Us Anything: What's in Your Bag
This question was asked via our Formspring.
Dear Vodka Vendettas,
You both are gorg! I am obsessed with your style. Have you ever (or will you ever) do a post like in US Weekly “What’s in My Bag?” I need to know what items to buy at my weekly Sephora trip to get your look! Cheers!
Love, What’ssss in Your Bag
Dear What’ssss in Your Bag,
We love love...
2 tags
Guest blog post — Your online guide to closet gays
Contributed by guest blogger Christopher Bush (@ckjbush)
Gays. Everyone knows ‘em. Almost everyone loves them (shout out to Westboro!). But, my people can kind of be a hassle when you’re trying to get some. Now if you’re a straight girl looking for some nice man tail, or a gay man looking for the same, there are a few types of closet-cases to be on the look out for. Now this...
Ask Us Anything: The Catch and Release
This question was asked via our Formspring.
Dear Vodka Vendettas,
I’ve got a crush on a guy, but I don’t know how to get his attention without being TOTALLY obvious. Plus I don’t want to be slutty until he’s officially mine ;) How do I get his attention but somehow still play hard to get???
Love, Emoticons Aren’t TOTALLY Obvious
Dear Emoticons Aren’t...
4 tags
The bright side of hangovers
“FUCK. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.” — Typical post-bar morning-after text to the bestie. You’re hungover. It fucking sucks. Like, as bad as that dress you wore to your high school freshman year homecoming, but without the tulle. Surprisingly, there are positives to this and all the bitchy texts you’re going to send about just how miserable you are. It’s the bright side of...
5 tags
Ask Us Anything
This question was asked last night via the formspring.
Dear Vodka Vendettas,
So my boyfriend broke up with me and just started dating this horrrrible girl, ugh. What can I do to make him realize he made a mistake?
Love, The Elliptical’s New BFF
Dear The Elliptical’s New BFF,
There are two reasons for wanting to make someone realize they made a mistake (which, since...
4 tags
Guest blog post - Girls Night (aka, Girls Who...
Contributed by guest blogger @singlegrlprob
The college bar can be a place of great adventure or a place of great misery in a single girl’s world. You can either leave the bar feeling like a Victoria’s Secret model or a crusty, 83-year-old grandmother…with your roommate.
You begin the night raging to classics such as Glee, Justin Bieber and an occasional Disney song (or twelve, but who’s...
Submitted: Dating Tips for Us Princesses
“Came across this yesterday and my bitches found it pretty accurate, thought you girls might agree :)”
http://www.hercampus.com/love/disney-princess-guide-your-not-so-happily-ever-after
Very cute, sprinkled with some sage dating advice.
Thanks for the submission!
#mc
5 tags
Three bros to avoid—
Been there, touched that. We’ve all had a run-in with several different types of guys during our favorite pastime (which is dating and not dating). Out of all the types in the world, however, we have narrowed it down to three main bros that really fuck with our heads. Consider this the brodictionary, and here’s a case-specific guide on why you should run, not walk, when you find...
Anonymous asked: just found this website...you. girls. are. genius. and yes, i love using periods for emphasis, too! never stop raging!
4 tags
How to handle Facebook post-breakup
Your boyfriend just dumped you. Ha, jokes. You dumped him. (Or it was kind of mutual, but he was about to do it, but you did it first so your ego wouldn’t take a hit, but you were totally going to do it anyway after your second cousin’s wedding.) Whatevs. Now comes the worst, most awkward part. No, not returning that oversized frocket tee you were totes wishing he’d forget you...